Reviews

Lifestyle

Features

Main Menu

BlogCal

 Apr   May 2013   Jun

SMTWTFS
   1  2  3  4
  5  6  7  8  91011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031 
ASIC Technology
Reviews
Hobo with a Shotgun PDF Print Email
Written by Sameerah   
Sunday, 17 July 2011 23:44
“Hobo with A Shotgun” is yet another notch in the belt of awesome that is worn by Rutger Hauer. Without Rutger Hauer, “Hobo With A Shotgun” would have been just another piece of boring direct to DVD bile that isn’t worth looking at on Netflix. But with Rutger Hauer in the lead as the deranged hobo who has had enough, “Hobo with A Shotgun” is transformed into a piece of horror comedy gold that you must see.

“Hobo with A Shotgun” starts out the way films involving hobos often do, with a crusty old guy rolling into town on a train. Instead of rolling into a peaceful tranquil little hamlet, our hobo rolls into a town so corrupt and evil that it’s been given the name “fuck city”. His introduction to “fuck city” comes in the form of a decapitation in the middle of town square. Drake, the gangster that runs the city, has become displeased with his brother. To make him pay for his mistakes, Drake put a manhole cover around his neck and stuffs the guy into a manhole. His sons wrap a length of barbed wire around their uncle’s neck, get into their car and pull until the guys head pops off, in what has to be one of the more creative death scenes I’ve seen in a long time.

Yes this freaks the  hobo out, but for now he is content to wonder the streets muttering to himself about what a horrible city he has wondered into. While walking the streets of fuck city hobo wanders into an arcade where one of Drake’s douche bag sons is trying to rape a hooker. Hobo intervenes to save the girl and make a citizens arrest. His attempt at being a human is thwarted when he finds out that Drake and his boys have the fuck city cops on their pay roll. His attempts to rescue a damsal in distress are greeted by an ass kicking by a bunch of cops and Drake’s kids. Hardly the reward he was expecting.  But if the cops don’t apperciate hobo’s civic minded nature, Abby--the obligatory hooker with a heart of gold--does. And to thank hobo for helping her she gives the smelly old guy a place to crash. And thus begins my inital annoyance with Abby as a character, but thankfully it is an annoyance that is short lived.

After meeting Abby, hobo is back on the streets and eating glass for sleazy bum fight directors and begging for change to buy a ride-a-long lawnmower for cash. In the end it’s walking into a pawn shop robbery that pushes hobo over the edge and gives his the chance to lay his hands on the shotgun that we’ve been dying to see him use since the film started. Blasting away at the baddies on the street makes hobo a hero to the average Joe on the street and drives Drake mad as he sees his reign of fear coming to an end and vows to take out hobo. Drake sends his two sons Van and Slick out to track down hobo and Abby. Instead of taking them out like their dad ordered Slick gets his dick blown off with hobo’s shotgun and Van is seriously maimed in what has to be one of the funniest fight and death scenes to ever be put on film. This is also the part where Abby becomes much more tolerable as a character. She transforms from a damsal in distress to a kick ass chick that loses an arm to save hobo from the clutches of Drake.

I loved “Hobo with a Shotgun” for being an American version of the kind of psycho gore films that the Japanese have cornered the market on. It’s graphic, gross and funny as hell in the spirit of “Robo Geisha” and “Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl”. In the beginning I found Abby absolutely insufferable. But I will admit that I hate it when a woman’s only purpose in the film is to be a hot piece of ass for the men to save. Luckily as the film progresses Abby turns out to be a kick ass chick and the director isn’t afraid to make her get down and dirty. Through the course of the movie Abby is almost decapitated and losses a hand. So while she is the sainted figure that hobo needs to protect to drive the story, she isn’t so sainted that she doesn’t take more than her fair share of hits, and isn’t one to lie around and wait for some dude to save her. But it’s hobo that makes the film. Rutger Hauer is the epitome of awesome in this movie. Like in all of his movies he brings a steely edge of crazy and cool to this low budget masterpiece that no other actor could have done. Hands down the best part of the films is Rutger Hauer saying “You’re riding shotgun” before blowing someones head off is fucking brilliant and is quite possibly one of the best lines to be uttered in a movie this year. In the end “Hobo with a Shotgun” is a good time for those of us who are fans of violence and gore. And it is made all the more awesome because it has one of the coolest actors on a generation blowing peoples heads off.
Last Updated ( Wednesday, 30 November -1 01:00 )
 
Mr. Death: Death Suits You PDF Print Email
Written by Sameerah   
Tuesday, 11 January 2011 06:58
Mr. Death 
Death Suits You
Agonia Records
4.0

As much as I like Mr Death’s latest effort “Death Suits You” I was a wee bit disappointed with some of the trax on this album. Sure Mr. Death can bring the heat with the best of them and there is some heavy and insane riffage to be had on this album. But they arent bringing anything new to the table. They tread over the same images of death, violence and gore that we have all seen a million times before. And while I love death and violence as much as the next girl I was expecting something more than what I got on this album. Their last album “Detached from Life”, which was filled with lush soundscapes that strayed from traditional Black Metal territory but still stayed true to the core of the sound,while leaning heavily on the works of George Romaro and Dario Argento to create vivid images of horror and gore. I was expecting Mr. Death to take this album to the next level. To wow me with there supreme awesomeness. What I got instead is an album that is solid but plays it safe. An album that was made for fans that don’t like to be risky with their music and need their bands to pick a sound and stick with. Yeah this album rocks, it got my ass moving and their take on death and destruction is definatly groovy I just wanted more.
Last Updated ( Tuesday, 11 January 2011 06:59 )
 
Maniac Butcher: Masakar PDF Print Email
Written by Sameerah   
Tuesday, 23 November 2010 03:45
Maniac Butcher 
Masakar
Negative Existence 
4.5

First things first, I am utterly annoyed with myself for sleeping on this album for as long as I did. I am ashamed to say that the day job now requires me to think and shit and thus I have slept on this and a fair amount of other killer albums as a result. But now that I have had the chance to listen to Maniac Butcher’s “Masakar” I can say with all honesty that it was definitely worth the wait. 

The entire album is done in Maniac Butcher’s native Czech so I don’t understand a word that they’re saying, and sadly I don’t have anyone who can translate for me; but even without being able to understand the actual words on “Masakar” it just oozes brutality, hate and sheer awesomeness. The vox are delivered with a guttural rasp that is ferocious, and boarding on inhuman in its utter contempt for whatever topic that they are approaching. 

Musically speaking “Masakar” is stripped down pure Black Metal at it’s finest. It has a solid Rock influenced base that keeps the album ground with tight melodies and infectious hooks that keep things moving along smoothly without interfering with the harsh intent of the bands message. Not that I claim to know what the message of Maniac Butcher may be-- after all I don’t speak Czech--but after listening to “Masakar” I imagine their message to be something that spits in the face of all things the society holds dear and fucks it up the ass with its hypocrisy. But keep in mind I an just venturing a  guess with that one. 

Maniac Butcher’s “Maskar” is one of those albums that transcends the limitations of culture and language to speak of all things brutal that touch the hearts of Metal heads everywhere.
Last Updated ( Wednesday, 30 November -1 01:00 )
 
Colin PDF Print Email
Written by Sameerah   
Tuesday, 26 October 2010 05:02
With Halloween upon us it’s time for Hollywood to hit us with their best--but mostly their worst--horror films. A lot of big screen crap has floated past me in the last few weeks; making “Colin” a breath of fresh air in what was shaping up to shitty Halloween movie season. I liked “Colin” for all of the same reasons that I was into “Otto: Up with Dead People” back a few years back, it puts a fresh face on the sometimes tired genre of zombie films. Sadly this Gem of a zombie film isn’t going to splashed all over the big theaters in glorious 3-D, it’s more of an art house film. But when it comes shambeling into your local dive theater, it will be worth your time.

“Colin” is a film of few words. I can count the number of scenes where the actors are actually talking. For most of the film Colin, the newly minted zombie, spends most of his time wondering the streets of London taking slices of the living where he can and looking for whatever zombies consider solace. With no dialogue in or sound track to distract the viewer, you’re left nothing but shuffling  zombie foot steps, the screams of humans and wet slurping sounds of the dead consuming the flesh of the living. It’s a technique that ramps up the suspense and gives the viewers mind a chance to wonder. It makes it kind of a “choose your own zombie adventure” story; is Colin a mindless eating machine like the rest of the undead; is that slack jawed look the result of decomposition, or is Colin struggling with some sort of intense newly dead inner turmoil that his now dead voice can’t articulate? Who knows, and in a way who cares, I was having too much fun narrating the story that I imagined went with the images on the screen to care.

Outside of Colin’s solo journey “Colin” does have a few interesting bits that confront subjects that aren’t usually confronted in zombie films. There is a scene where a woman escapes the zombies with the help of some creepy dude, only to find herself locked in a room with Colin and a few eye-less lady zombies. In true horror film fashion she manages to escape, but runs into a living monster that is just as bad as the living dead that she had just escaped. They spend a lot of time focusing on the time Colin spends with his family once he joins the ranks of the undead. Watching some members of his family swear that they can see recognition in his eyes, and other agonizing over the fact that it’s time to destroy the beast that Colin has become is a bit sad.

I walked away from “Colin” with my lust for blood, guts and gore of a good zombie flick saciated and a little bit of a warm fuzzy feeling. This film manages to maintain the creepy, blood lust that you need to make a good zombie film with a healthy dose of heart that I’ve never seen in a zombie film before. For the first time in my life I saw zombies as just another part of the universe, just trying to make their way in the world like the rest. Sure the fact that these creatures have to live off of living human flesh totally sucks ass, but hey the undead need to make a living just like the rest of us. “Colin” is going to have a small release, hitting art house theaters all over the country. If you are lucky enough to run across this film it’s definatly worth your dime; if you can’t catch it on the big screen “Colin” will be a worth addition to your Netflix queue.
Last Updated ( Wednesday, 30 November -1 01:00 )
 
« StartPrev12345678910NextEnd »

Page 4 of 50